Review

That's it. John's finally gone crazy. And in the most delightful way. Riffing amazingly well off of the absurdity of the third season's cliffhanger, John's figuratively thrown his hands in the air and nearly given up on sanity after thanking his lucky stars for being rescued by another leviathan. He stayed just sane and coherent enough to focus on the only worthwhile thing he had left to focus on throughout all this time: cracking wormholes. But what's even more interesting is he seems to have made a breakthrough. Given a little more time, John seems confident he'll master wormholes.

But John's time on Elack isn't all Nobel Prize winning physics research, he has become an even more whimsical and reckless person than before. The non sequitur references to Earth have become an even greater crutch for him. So much so that he adopted a pet DRD, named it 1812, painted it with the French flag, and taught it how to sing the 1812 Overture. Not only that, but it actually seems to like singing the 1812 Overture. I love the cute little scene at the end where it nearly begs John to sing it with him. Him? Golly. Now I'm anthropomorphizing a DRD.

Indeed the charms of this episode are boundless. Elack, the 1812 DRD, John's burly beard, his erratic behavior, his surprisingly touching regard for Elack and Elack's pilot, and most of all his unwavering competence for survival in the utterly strange circumstances in which he lives. His increased whimsies and confidence seem like borderline hubris. Or maybe he just gets lucky all the time like Captain Kirk. Regardless, John's ever-deepening theatrical behavior is his own attempt to trivialize the farce he sees his life as and it plays out as both an incredibly good drama as well as an incredibly good comedy.

What works less well in this episode is Sikozu and her dizzying array of alien abilities. She learns languages super fast without translator microbes, can reattach limbs without much effort, and can walk on walls. There are ways to rationalize all this, but it seemed like the writers were just pulling new abilities for her out of their hat whenever they needed one. Likewise, Chiana's abilities seem to have... evolved somewhat. This is less annoying, but I similarly think giving Chiana mystical premonition abilities to use as a plot device is not the most terribly interesting development.

I am glad Moya is still nowhere to be found and that not all the characters have been reunited yet. It shows that the series is willing to take the cliffhanger's implications at least somewhat seriously. I'm a little annoyed that Rygel and Chiana appear to have come out of nowhere; it's not explained terribly well why they were able to locate John, but it's easy to fill in the blanks with something plausible. In any case overall this is Farscape's best season opener so far.

Review

This rather strange episode ranges from incoherent, to fascinating, to profound at various times. The notion of yet another super weapon of mass destruction that must be kept out of the hands of the bad guys is obnoxious, but the plot finally beginning to seriously explore the idea that the most human-like races in the Farscape universe may have an actual genetic connection with humans is fascinating. Apparently the ancient Egyptians are somehow related to the Sebaceans and Interions.

Other nice details included Scorpius' clear fall from grace. The way Grayza controls him with those green corrupted cooling rods is a fantastic way to make this old nemesis seem more sympathetic. Grayza's preying on his weak spot. Couple that with Braca switching sides without hesitation and we've got the makings of a lovely predicament for Scorpy. Another minor detail I liked was that in John's visions the priests were singing the Farscape theme.

Finally, the old woman's character, while sometimes annoying, is rapidly starting to captivate me. She'd be more compelling if her actions didn't always seem so random, but for the most part she seems to work quite well as an unstable but probably good natured ally. I'm also continuing to enjoy Moya's lack of a presence. Even though we now know roughly where she is, it's still nice that it's taking a while for the crew to reassemble. Overall while the episode could have used a more solid narrative, it still comes off as a fairly strong piece.

Review

While the weird looking aquatic alien plot twist toward the end was an annoying red herring, the rest of the episode achieved a much more solid focus which part one lacked somewhat. I greatly enjoyed John's clever, temporary ability to overcome Grayza's wiles and Elack's heroic death was also most fitting. I'm a bit sad to see Jool left behind; she's leaving right when I was starting to like her. Or at least not hate her.

I also rather enjoyed the ambiguous fate of Scorpius in this episode. By now the series has certainly earned this. I have no doubt that Scorpius survived being buried alive, despite his pleas in vain to Sikozu to save him. I certainly hope this isn't the last we see of Jool and especially the plot exploring the link between her species, John's, and Sebaceans. Overall this episode was a solid improvement over part one.

Review

Noranti feeds the tired and hungry crew of Lo'La poison, so they all have to land on hostile planet of the week to go throw up, getting themselves into trouble with some bad guys in the process. There's some very effective humor in some scenes, but aside from that this episode is largely just a waste of time.

Review

A fantastic episode that draws well on the time honored Farscape cliche of turning old enemies into ambiguous allies. Scorpius fits surprisingly well into Moya's crew given the carefully crafted circumstances for his arrival. In many ways this is his episode as each step of the plot is designed to redeem him further and further. First he saves Aeryn, then he removes Harvey. Both events a delightful counterpoint to Die Me, Dichotomy. Finally he divulges critical Peacekeeper intelligence to save Moya. Way to go Scorpy!

The only wrinkle in the plot is Aeryn's behavior. She spent the first half of the story actively working against John's efforts to save her. Then, even after John goes the last mile to protect whatever it is Aeryn felt she needed to go this far to protect, she still refuses to reveal her pregnancy to him. At this point John's had enough, and I don't blame him. He gave her the perfect opportunity to come clean and she wasted it.

A final point of significant interest is Scorpius revealing to John that he really does know where Earth is and that it wasn't a bluff. Combine that with John's budding wormhole knowledge and I'm not exactly sure what stands between John and going home now! Obviously he might want to not drag characters like Scorpius along with him to Earth, even despite Scorpy's newfound trustworthiness, so this could be a good reason that John's not chomping at the bit to go home right this second. However, the complete sum of this episode works out to another outstanding chapter in Farscape's long term story while setting up nice possibilities for more great stuff to come.

Review

Space plant monster of the week juxtaposed with some real progress being made in the John and Aeryn relationship plot. The space plant monster was certainly annoying and not necessary, but the plot advancement concerning the relationship makes up for it quite well along with a few other nice details such as John demonstrating an ability to correctly predict wormhole appearances and the crew electing D'Argo as captain.

One of my favorite details of this episode is Aeryn noting that she no longer sees any distinction between the two Johns from season 3. This means the principal issue of the season 3 finale for her has been overcome. Now they just need to get over their trust issues brought on by this withheld pregnancy along with, of course, determine who the father is. Sadly though there is little depth beyond this to explore as the space plant monster dominated most of the story. As such, this episode only works out to being slightly above average.

Review

This whole episode is like a bad acid trip and is almost completely pointless. Cameos like Gilina, Stark, Jool, and Zhaan are fun for long time fans but serve no real purpose as the episode concludes with the lovely cliched classic "it was all a dream" ending. The relationship issues this episode was supposed to explore were barely even touched on; the episode preferring instead to waste most of its time in the whimsical virtual reality, making jokes and vomiting as much Farscape continuity for the fans as possible. Unless you're into episodes like Scratch 'n' Sniff or Taking the Stone for some reason, do yourself a favor and skip this one.

Review

This episode is kind of a mixed bag. It's a delightfully fun story for the most part, containing such memorable scenes as shrunken Aeryn riding DRD 1812, John singing the episode score to himself while going bad guy hunting, John ramming the pod into the bounty hunter ship, and John squishing the shrunken Scarran, but there's a number of wrinkles in the plot that wreck some of the potential for the episode to rise above merely average. For one, the science behind the shrunken people is a wee bit dicey, but most importantly the ending's silly, half-hearted cliffhanger concerning "tormented space" was just lame.

Honestly, tormented space? Really? What a groan-inducing line. Anyone else getting bad memories of Star Trek Voyager's episode The Fight, which focused on the similarly bizarre concept of the so called chaotic space? Or how about the fact that Pilot says tormented space is filled with wormholes? Or the fact that everyone on the ship already seems to have known about this region of space for some time, including John? If it's so commonly known, why didn't Scorpius do his wormhole research in the vicinity? The whole bit of exposition is just sloppy and annoying. Oh well. Decently fun ride of an episode otherwise.

Review

A terribly slow paced episode on alien planet of the week in which our heroes become embroiled in their screwed up politics. As if the dimly executed unoriginal plot wasn't bad enough, add to that almost nothing happens in the entire first half of the episode because the story simply replays the events of the teaser but with more detail. Lame.

Review

An episode surprisingly similar to Star Trek DS9's dreadful Profit and Lace episode but far, far better executed. Unlike the DS9 episode, this story's crossdressing is a subplot and the joke subtler rather than overplayed to the point of being embarrassing. Instead, what steals the show in this episode is the poison primary plot, which, while it is complete filler, it is quite funny nevertheless. The success of the comedy is achieved by repeating the very successful gag from season three of having two characters neurologically linked so that they feel each others pain. It was most amusing with Braca and D'Argo and even funnier with John and Scorpius last season and it was nicely used here as well. Overall, while still filler, this episode is much more enjoyable than the last one.

Review

This trippy episode is some pretty hardcore science fiction, diving deep into Farscape's fictional wormhole physics. As a result we get a very heady episode exploring the what-if physics consequences for what sort of reality we'd live in if wormholes, as depicted on Farscape, were really real. Basing this thought experiment on the real physics of relativity and the fictional physics of the instantaneous nature of wormhole travel, the episode deliberately fails to resolve the time travel paradoxes inherent in the idea, choosing instead to go in the direction of using this nature of wormholes to create yet another way in which developing a technology to harness them could result in a terrifying amount of power in the wrong hands.

Not only could wormholes destroy a planet or perhaps a whole planetary system itself as depicted in prior episodes, but now it's revealed that they can be used for time travel and also to fundamentally alter reality itself, except for the person wielding the technology who seems to maintain an immutable frame of reference. The ancients who currently are in sole control this technology appear afraid of their own knowledge, which is confirmed by their "test" of John's demeanor, stating that fear is the correct answer. It's almost as if they consider their own very existence to be as overwrought as the power they possess. Their obsession with keeping this knowledge a secret seems to stop just shy of their own willful self destruction.

Aside from big exposition and the fun exploration of fantasy physics, this episode has much to offer in simple storytelling as well. This episode does much to redeem the third season's lame cliffhanger, revealing that our ancient alien friend was behind the suspiciously sudden appearance of the wormhole which devoured Moya. It's also fun watching all the silly unrealized realities. My only real complaint, aside from the wonky cliffhanger leading us into the next episode being yet another Earth-but-not-really episode, is that the directing of this episode is at times too trippy and can be at times hard to follow. Overall though I find this episode's unusual style and tone to be quite bold and refreshing.

Review

Having John return to Earth for real but in the wrong year would have been good enough for a fantastic story by itself, but the amazing twist at the end of having John return to Earth at the correct year along with Moya and with his dad having already boarded Moya is an absolutely fantastic development. One of the greatest fascinations of Farscape's ongoing story is to explore the idea of what would happen if John did some day return to Earth with all the knowledge and technology he had gained out in space. They touched on this way back in A Human Reaction, but it was deliberately exaggerated and I rightfully never believed it was a realistic portrayal of what would really happen.

This time though it's real. No illusions, no smoke and mirrors, real. I loved John's disbelief at the end of the episode. Even though there's absolutely no reason to think any of this is a fake this time, John doesn't buy it. He thinks it it just has to be a fake. He's become paranoid. And can you blame him? I certainly can't. The best part about all this for me is this is all happening in the middle of a season. They didn't even save this big moment for some big finale. If the follow-through of this plot arc is as bold as the setup, we've got the makings for perhaps the best storytelling ever depicted on Farscape.

Review

The setup pays off perfectly. John returns to Earth and the political consequences are explored with sufficient depth and nuance to make the climax of this arc well worth the buildup. I loved the detail that the September 11th terrorist attacks changed John's dad in a fundamental way, making him less idealistic and more predisposed to hoard any and all information and technology John has brought back with him so as to protect the United States against its enemies.

John, on the other hand, both lacking the experience of having lived through the event and being the only human to have lived through his perhaps worse experiences on the other side of the galaxy possesses a much different perspective. From John's point of view, the enemies of America are the Peacekeepers and the Scarrans. It's obvious to John from the very first moment that what he brings Earth is terrors beyond their imagination and that the best way to protect America, along with the rest of Earth, is to "get the hell out of Dodge" and get Earth off the radar of the Peacekeepers and Scarrans as quickly as possible.

John's decision to leave is a fateful one. John's no longer a man running away from his enemies. He's a man with a greater purpose. The only way he'll ever be able to return home again is if he finds a way to end the conflict between the Peacekeepers and the Scarrans, or at least end their lust over wormhole technology. John's immediate feelings over having to leave I'm sure are quite confused. The Peacekeepers killed off his best friend DK and DK's new wife. And his homecoming while not as absurd as A Human Reaction predicted was certainly bittersweet.

Meanwhile John's and Aeryn's confused relationship mirrors John's ambivalence regarding his homecoming. The two even after all this time still can't sort out their feelings for each other. But real progress has been made on both fronts. Aeryn's finally starting to understand why John acts the way he does by discovering his drug use and getting a grip on his cultural contexts first hand. As for John, his decision to leave Earth was the right call, even if it was a hard one. Both characters have begun a journey to regain their focuses on the things that matter to them most. An absolutely fantastic episode.

Review

Alien monster of the week boards Moya and causes a ruckus. The crew bickers. John and Aeryn have relationship problems. And nothing significant actually happens. Typical formulaic Farscape filler and all this right after the most epic and amazing story arc so far. They go from that to this. On top of that the notion that John is denying his relationship with Aeryn to protect her from Scorpius is vaguely ridiculous. Scorpius couldn't possibly not know about that relationship by now. If he wanted to exploit it he would have by now. So I'm really not sure just what John is on about.

Review

D'Argo finally confronts Macton and John undergoes anti-Scarran training. This episode was a bit slow and a little too hokey for my tastes at times. Despite the many endorsements from main characters, the tactics employed by the "Master Jedi" as John called him seem questionably effective at achieving their stated goals. Much of this episode felt too much like mystic voodoo to me. However, this theme was toned down just enough that there's plenty of worthwhile story to extract from these events.

D'Argo's confrontation with Macton is the centerpiece of the episode. It was executed such that it was wholly true to his character in every way, which is saying a lot for a character as well developed as D'Argo. John's training was less interesting, though amusing. Obviously it remains to be seen whether or not there will be any kind of payoff from John learning how to resist heat in this fashion, as the inevitable Scarran confrontation Scorpius expects has yet to come to pass. Overall though a decent story.

Review

This skillfully written episode is a much better executed counterpoint to the previous episode. The girls go on a quest to procure an equally mundane objective as the guys were tasked with in the last episode, but in the process the girls are swept into some epic developments with regards to the political machinations of the Peacekeepers and the Scarrans and the cliffhanger surrounding Aeryn's capture by the Scarrans seals the deal.

Along the way there are a number of nice touches. Having just the girls as the primary protagonists of the story is an unusual choice and leads to some interesting character dynamics. Of particular note is the disproportionately important roles that Sikozu and Noranti played in the episode, which was a nice change of pace. I especially enjoyed Noranti detecting that the free drinks were poison. This nice touch of a scene is a fantastic parallel to a similar scene in Star Trek DS9's episode Ties of Blood and Water in which Weyoun similarly identifies poison by drinking it and then exhibiting immunity.

Continuing the trend of well executed female characters, Grayza of course makes a prominent appearance in this episode acting opposite to the awesome new villain: War Minister Ahkna. This Ahkna is the best offering from the Scarrans yet, as she adds a great deal of texture and subtlety to their interactions. Ahkna is not the blunt instrument that her minions and lackeys are. She truly is Grayza's Scarran counterpart in every way.

I greatly enjoyed that she saw fit to reference the recent destruction of one of their dreadnoughts and that she was keen enough to suggest that it may have been a lucky shot with an experimental weapon or possibly not even a Peacekeeper achievement at all. The whole series of negotiations was indeed a lot of fun. Ahkna played Grayza like a fiddle. Overall while this episode is mostly setup for what's likely to be cooler stuff to come later it manages to stand well on its own as quite an entertaining piece.

Review

This delightful episode is just the sort of sequel I was looking for to Terra Firma's exploration of what aliens arriving to Earth would be like. If we had never seen Earth again after the events of Terra Firma, the series would have suffered. Obviously John's not ready to go back, so to continue exploring the fallout of his homecoming I greatly appreciate the documentary style storytelling choice because it takes John entirely out of the context of these events; it forces him to simply watch as a helpless observer. As such, watching John watch TV all episode is strangely compelling because the subject matter is so rich.

Indeed, almost nothing happens in this episode and yet it manages to be such a deep and essential exploration of each of the main characters, especially John. The only actual plot is John trying to remember where he heard the name Katratzi and for once the plot device isn't some mystical science fiction voodoo but simply a highly distraught man having a hard time remembering something that he is certain he experienced. The story is of course resolved when John simply remembers what he saw and heard in Unrealized Reality, but I enjoy that he didn't remember right off. That's very realistic. Memory sometimes isn't instant recall and when you're distracted by a painful loss it can be even harder to remember even the most crucial things. Especially for someone who's experienced as many strange things as John.

Beyond that, this episode offers many fascinating tidbits. The psychologist may have overreacted throughout most of the episode, but she was quite right that John stating that he's always waiting for something bad to happen is a sign of his being constantly subjected to high stress. He's become paranoid, jumpy, and trigger happy. Ever notice how often he pulls guns on people? It's a reflex now. Even in this episode he pulled on a gun on Sikozu for no good reason. And at the end of the episode, despite still having no evidence, paranoid old John once again accused Scorpius of setting him up to extract wormhole knowledge before caving and giving Scorpy what he wants in exchange for help freeing Aeryn.

Another prominent theme of the episode is the disconnect between the aliens and the humans in their reactions to the fact that the rest of the galaxy possesses the capability to wipe out Earth easily. To people like Aeryn and D'Argo this is a harmless fact because Earth is so irrelevant no one would ever visit it. But to the human characters featured in the documentary this is the most terrifying threat in human history. The culture shock is well explored. I especially enjoyed D'Argo's observations about aliens in human movies and his warning that humans won't always win like they do in the movies. ???? All in all this is a fantastic episode that favors depth and nuance over the speed of plot which is sometimes too rare on Farscape.

Review

Aeryn's interrogation aboard the freighter was a gripping story but it could have been better. What worked well was seeing the progression of her will slowly being broken down until she divulged the truth that Crichton is the father of her child. But the side plot concerning the other alien mother who actually turned out to be a spy was completely unnecessary; annoyingly climaxing at the scene where Aeryn kills her and then appears to suffer no consequences for doing so. Nor does she make any attempt to escape further after her hands had been freed.

The bizarro-Moya plot was about roughly what I expected from last episode's cliffhanger. It was good for a few laughs, especially with regards to Scorpius' complete disregard for all of the bizarro characters, killing them at will without hesitation. It's not explained why they were never met with any kind of resistance, but honestly, who cares? The bizarro world wasn't supposed to make much sense anyway. Presumably it operates on different rules. All things considered this episode wasn't bad at all, but it certainly didn't live up to the full potential of its premise.

Review

This skillfully written action story has a number of bold plot points that really make it shine. The first is Noranti actually infecting Rygel with a highly contagious disease in order to prolong the ruse. I loved that the implications of this were fully explored. Not only was it actually useful, but it we got to see people get infected and die as a result of Noranti's actions. On top of that she takes time at the end of the episode to reflect on this. Good writing there.

The second most remarkable bold plotting of the story was the horrific idea of killing Aeryn, taking the baby and transferring it to Chiana as a surrogate mother. It was obvious that this wasn't actually going to happen, but it was a fantastic way to ratchet up the intensity just prior to John boarding the Scarran freighter and taking Aeryn back by force. Finally, having John compelled to rescue Scorpius was a fantastic ending.

My one quibble with the plotting is that while I love the return of Harvey, I think the series has earned the concept of John desiring to rescue Scorpius on his own, without intervention from Harvey. For instance, Aeryn may have felt honor-bound to rescue Scorpius for his many roles in saving her life and the baby. I believe even John may have been able to concede this on his own and stick his neck out for Grasshopper. Whatever the reason though it's still good plotting.

Review

Now we've come full circle from Nerve, with Scorpius being tortured for wormhole information. By Stark no less! Stark's cameo is an odd one. How did the Scarrans find him? How did they know he would enjoy a run at torturing Scorpius? I suppose knowing these details isn't terribly important but they were ringing in my head since the moment he showed up on screen. I'd also like to know why he grew out his hair. It ain't a good look on you, old Starky boy! In any case this episode is fraught with interesting tidbits here and there.

It's revealed in this episode that Sikozu is actually a bioloid herself, like the fake Aeryn. On top of that, the Scarrans are revealed to enjoy a flower commonly found on Earth called Strelitzia. Though enjoy seems to be an understatement. They've got a whole underground compound dedicated to growing the stuff and an army to protect it. The significance of this remains to be seen, but it's certainly fascinating that there's some kind of a link between the Scarrans and Earth. Scorpius of course is the man of the hour. Is he really a spy for the Scarrans? I find that exceedingly hard to believe.

On top of that, no matter whose side he's on, it's rather incredible he's managed to be a double agent for so long. Aside from John's delightfully amusing negotiations with the Peacekeepers and Scarrans, probably the best moment of the episode is John toying with killing Scorpius. Did John really want to kill Scorpy? Did Harvey stop him from doing it? Or were John's actions all a ruse to see if Scorpius broke under interrogation? For once I don't care about the answer. I love the ambiguity. On the whole another outstanding episode. The threats, the games of chicken, the double crosses. It's all so entertaining.

Review

An outstanding climax to this arc of episodes. It would easily be worth a perfect score were it not for the surprisingly anticlimactic ending. The bomb goes off and all of a sudden all problems are solved. The guards are vaporized, but our heroes are perfectly protected. No one tries to shoot them down as they trot away in Lo'Laa and we skip straight to John philosophizing about his body count. Though I certainly do love John's profoundly disturbed reflections on the number of people he's killed since he embarked on his Farscape mission.

Of particular note was his rather poetic line about having worn a nuclear bomb in a field of flowers which is a nice reference to Lyndon B. Johnson's "Daisy" presidential campaign ad, but I felt like they only partially earned the scene. The epic climax could have been more suitably epic. Instead the routine nature of these adventures sets in before the bomb even goes off. The mood gets sucked out of an otherwise exciting action episode by a sort of deflated apathy in the characters. Thus the episode turns brooding and reflective before the ideal point in the plot.

In any case, the story has much to offer. I loved the backstory on Stark. It's still not explained just how he ended up in Scarran hands, but we learn more about his historical relationship with the Scarrans as well as the original reason why Scorpius was torturing him in the Aurora Chair. It's all borderline trivia, but enjoyable for fans. Though I could have done without yet another surprise super power for Sikozu.

Moreover, we learn that the Scarrans are dependent on the Strelitzia flowers for their intelligence. Now without the flowers, the Scarrans will presumably be unable to maintain their military superiority over the Peacekeepers. A prize so valuable that Scorpius gave up on wormholes for it! Indeed a lot of plot threads are wrapped up here. It would seem that pretty much all that's left is for John's and Aeryn's relationship to be clarified, to find exactly what links Earth to the Peacekeepers and the Scarrans, and to reunite Moya's crew with their homeworlds.

Review

Farscape's running out of good cliffhangers. Once again, just like season three having Moya sucked down a wormhole completely at random, this time around we've got a random attacker from space blowing John and Aeryn to bits coming completely out of nowhere for no reason. They're obviously not dead because the series would never kill off its two leads. At least not this unceremoniously. Leads deserve overwrought deaths, like Zhaan's. That, and the alien attacker said he was "neutralizing" them for "analysis." I suppose you could analyze bitty little bits of dead remains, but I didn't get the impression that the weapon was supposed to be lethal. That said, despite the lame cliffhanger, this episode has lots of great plot points.

This is easily Pilot's episode as much as it's John's and Aeryn's. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy John and Aeryn finally got their relationship sorted out, but there wasn't anything surprising or novel about that. What's surprising is that it took four years to get them this far. Sure the time it took makes it somewhat more rewarding when it finally happened, but it was a foregone conclusion from day one. Pilot on the other hand got to do something truly unique. He got to leave Moya for the first time ever and fly a different ship, greatly risking his life in the process to save Earth from the Scarran threat. Speaking of which, the Scarran threat was awesome.

I'm glad the Scarrans were keen enough to pick up on the detail that their precious flower grows on Earth and I'm glad it was John's casual remark that sicked the Scarrans onto Earth rather than some complicated nonsense like the Scarrans hacking a Peacekeeper database where they found info from Scorpius' research or some other convoluted crap like that. As for Scorpius, I'm sort of glad he's back into the Peacekeeper fold again. He earned it! Finally John's quick phone call to Earth while he was in the vicinity was an absolutely delightful and essential detail. It got across so much in so little screen time. Overall while the cliffhanger was kind of lame this was a fantastic season finale for the best season Farscape's ever had. If the story ended here it'd be a damn shame.